if it's over; let it go______________________________

Friday, July 02, 2004

think about it...:)

************

Sometimes I wonder what exactly I am doing here.
I have spent the last 4 years studying for a degree that I only plan to put to use in the remotest of circumstances. A “fallback”, as they call it. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have poured blood, sweat, and tears into studying Biology, and I intend to become a true blue biologist only IF I fail medicine altogether.

I wrote down “Biology” in that UPCAT form to realize a “dream” I had since my toddler years. I had wanted to become a physician, the profession that my mother also practices. I wanted to walk down the halls of hospitals, providing help to patients where it is needed. As Biology practically deals with the same subject matter, which is life, though in a much more general sense, I chose it as my pre-med course. My mother, who was practically ecstatic that I had decided to follow in her footsteps, wanted me to take up Psychology instead. A colleague of hers said that a higher percentage of Psychology graduates make up each class of the College of Medicine, probably because they get higher grades than most people from other competing courses. I, of course, being the insane adolescent that I was, decided not to follow her advice.

And so I took up Biology.

And for the first time in my life, I found something that I was passionate about.

I could not pinpoint the exact time that I started to enjoy and be truly interested in what I was studying. Maybe it started with Bio 116 and that field trip to Grande Island, with Bio 160 and that swim through the Taal main Crater Lake, or who knows, maybe it started with Bio 12, Prof. Mamaril and all his idiosyncrasies. I guess there is this “something” that keeps me interested in the subject matter even in the most boring of circumstances.

I tried not think about the time when I would be forced to choose my career path. Once I had declared to my mother that I wanted to be a physician, I instinctively knew that there was no taking it back, even though she said that choosing what I wanted to become was in my hands, and not in her’s or in my dad’s. I knew that if I so much as mention that I wanted to ditch my plans and pursue a Biology master’s degree instead, I metaphorically will get to make my own noose and hang myself with it.

And so I decided upon a middle way. I told her that if I did not make it to the UP College of Medicine, I will not pursue medicine altogether. I will go on to graduate school, may it be at the Institute of Biology or at the Marine Science Institute.

She, of course, agreed to this decision. She was quite the elitist; she did not want to see her daughter enter another medical school she herself did not graduate from.

Fast forward a year later. I am now taking up medicine. Unlike Biology though, I am not passionate about it, nor do I find it even remotely interesting. I have to drag myself to class everyday, force myself to listen to lectures that I don’t even understand, and then go home at night and try to wade through an oozing swamp of readings in anatomy, histology, and neuroscience.

I am feeling very much run down, and I know that that second wind is far from coming.

I only hope that one day, I’ll wake up, and realize that I have learned to love what I am doing, like it once was in my undergraduate years.

Upon being asked why I wanted to take up medicine, I once said that I couldn’t see myself as being anything else.

Liar.

trish passed by on: 6:27 p.m. |

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Full-time Princesa

1. 28 is my fave number... actually anything with an 8...Ü
2. I was born on March 28, 1987...
3. I studied nursery in Sagrada Familia Pre-School.
4. I spent 11 years in St. Scholastica's College, Manila.
5. I consider April 15-May 24, 2002 to be the best six weeks of my life! AJSS35 pa rin!
6. I love the color pink!
7. I'm jologs, my gawd! I watch pinoy TV and I enjoy it talaga! I watch pinoy movies and I simply love 'em...
8. I collect PINK magazines.
9. I appeared sa PINk Mag before, in their 2nd ish! And sa Candy Oct 2005 ish.
10. I love shopping! Bangkok!!!
11. I'm mataray! but not super mataray...
12. A lot of people say I look intimidating...
13. I'm kikay, but not too kikay-ish...
14. I hate wearing sleeveless tops.
15. I'm more often than not "sporty" in the way i dress up.
16. I'm confident to speak in public.
17. I'm not afraid to say what I think.
18. I can't memorize things! I hate memory work!
19. I'm an ISKA!
20. I'm a debater! (UPM-Debate Circle rox!
21. I'm boylet-less and happy to be single. (I'm not looking!!!)
22. I hate jerks! (you guys know who you are!!!)
23. I used to weigh 140 when i was in 2nd year...
24. I don't eat rice pag dinner...
25. I call myself TRISH, everyone else calls me Patty Ü
26. I love taking pictures of cute kids...
27. I love the beach in BORACAY!
28. When I'm good, I'm very good... When I'm bad, I'm very bad!!! So don't mess with me!

Past Blogs

December 2001 January 2002 March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 November 2002 December 2002 April 2003 May 2003 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 May 2008 September 2008 October 2008 December 2008 January 2009 April 2009

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